What drives you, is it the fear of the unknown, need to be alone, of Kat; the horrors of the past, of Dcruis; or the fear of the future, of Dneau. Are you driven by them all?
This is the summary of a story of a 'wierdo' who still loves love, who still believes in something that the rest of us normal people only know as fantasy. He still loves despite the fact that this world is dominated with recipients who some where in the back of their minds believe they don't deserve to be loved as much as they may love (and want )the idea of it, this fantasy (first paragraph). Recipients who predominantly may be incapable or being loved leave alone reciprocating it, but aren't we all (Humans). I'll tell it in reference to the 'Letters to the Kats, Dcruises and Dneau'.
"I still love her.." he says referring to one that I'll term as his Moon. "..but love alone seems not enough. The last time we spoke I thought too that she loved me back but the world, life, in form of her self need to be alone, her past and her fear seem greater than that love for what we had." ..he continued.
"So now a perfect love seems lost to the wind, a fantasy that I lived and not just in my dreams. I sometimes wish I had the guts to slap her back to reality out of that fantasy that makes her think we couldn't have been, because.. we were. Well I'm a wierdo, I can read something beautiful over and over and still find it beautiful." "Are we still talking about her?" I ask just to confirm.. and I get an answer from his eyes, a look that seems to undermine my ability to connect:[]
"I may love her forever but there are things I have no control over, if she loves me back, if she'll have me back, how we'll fix that trust, who she is and who with time she chooses to be.. but those are not enough reasons not to love still. I have never and may never be in control of anything or one other than me, and I don't desire to be, because if I am then what will there be to see.. and I loove to see. So I pray to God, He'll reach where I can't reach, He sees everywhere including where no one else can see, and if He sees fit he will fix it however He please.. and I take comfort for you can't rebel against God for too long, it's like rebelling against love, you'll be killing your soul.. so I pray to God to get through to my love, if she too loves then I have two in one ..but I'd skip praying if I knew she would still fight that, because I'd rather not have her than live with seeing her without a soul. Even from this much distance, my myopia is un existant when it comes to seeing her."
Too deep, I think. I should have comprehended love after that but I didn't just understand his version of it :[] ..I got scared, it seems too deep, over exposing.. like you could die of it.. while at the same time the most beautiful thing you'd want to be in. Secured, cherished, full.. is what it seems you always are in it :!
