tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30125160365469590582024-03-04T23:58:11.593-08:00LeoLeo is a Swahili word meaning today, it's also the fifth astrological sign of the Zodiac originating from the constellation of Leo but in this blogs context it represents my days, my today everyday! ..this blog is therefore a sort of journal of my daily experiences, my perspective.
Occasionally I'll post something that I had written earlier. ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-50712872555704917712018-06-17T10:39:00.005-07:002020-12-06T07:12:42.805-08:00Human vs Aliens 1<div dir="ltr">
I'm trying pretty hard to figure out how to explain this, not because I lack the words, I rarely lack those. It's because for some reason in my head I think you don't need to be explained to, or at least you shouldn't given who I think/believe you are :/ </div>
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In my head you are a brilliant artist. I have never seen your work but I believe so hard, I've spoken to you and all your words confirm you are one. It's for that reason I assumed you would get it, you would understand his alien behavior. Well, there's love involved, and we all know where emotions are involved our vision is usually blurred. From that I assume even an artists ability to perceive is.</div><div dir="ltr"><br /></div>
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I will try and explain. Travel with me to the future... the year 3014, one thousand years from now. In this future world we will assume our earth no longer exists, for some reason. Perhaps it got invaded with a more superior species, at least in terms of weaponry and we got defeated.. they killed most of our species with a few lucky to escape so dispersed in all parts of the universe, cosmos [yes it's 3014, we can travel that far away, at great enough speeds.. maybe even the speed of light so we can go back and save our earth from this alien species, unless it just exploded. All these are maybes, no preempting.. let me give my story!].</div>
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So a fraction of the human race who survived the aliens are widespread across the cosmos, with an even smaller one left on earth being experimented on by our alien conquerors [If they are not our scientists.. lemme not go there, maybe later ':¡].</div>
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As refugees in alien countries, [ooh, worlds, planets] we slowly die of given that we left in such a hurry we forgot to carry our seeds. Ooh, I'd forgotten to mention that in such futuristic times physical contact had been officially grossed out [haha.. gross:7], outlawed.. long ago enough the whole population had been culturalized without any knowledge of reproducing, no sex [I know it doesn't make sense!] ..it's the truth. </div>
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Well, even if some secret elite human society managed to pass such knowledge on from generation to generation by the fourth or so generation it would seem so absurd, it wouldn't even be myth.. but it would be had to imagine that happened given the amount of surveillance that would be in existence at that point in time, 3014.. people would probably be walking naked given there'd be no point of covering yourself as you have already been seen by surveillance taking a shower or changing [I would change in my towels and bath with my clothes to avoid that.. wait, it's 3014 no need to change clothes or have a regular shower! There'll be.. uhm, something!].</div>
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Imagine what would happen if you were one of the survivors, if you were the only one left alive in your group [maybe because you were a lab techie and from your works you had somehow developed immunity to all forms of human diseases. Don't get carried away, you're not superhuman just super immune for lack of a better word. You don't have any powers, only immunity from diseases.] and you haven't committed suicide! Now imagine in your regular routines you see another human being.</div><div dir="ltr"><br /></div>
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Hope is a person of the opposite sex from you. Like you Hope was the only survivor of their camp. They'd heard a beamed up signal that had been broadcasted on a continuous loop by one of the techies from your camp and by only that had traveled many enough light years to find and meet these other humans.</div>
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How do you think you would react, meeting from a very long time someone human like you. Someone with a mouth, with hands, with one HEAD!? Two nostrils, with two brains if you dissected their head but you wouldn't dare because where in the cosmos would you find another, is there even one other still surviving and how long would you have to wait to finally find them, if they exist.</div><div dir="ltr"><br /></div>
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You would run to them as fast as you could, with your eyes glued at them not affording even a blink, for a millisecond is all it takes to move them across several galaxies. If you were lazy like someone I know you would walk but with just as much zeal towards them, not even a blink across whatever obstacles.. you wouldn't fall even if you tripped, you couldn't afford it.</div>
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And when you finally reached them you would hug them so tight, so tight [..so tight even if they were a well build athletic man with huge muscles and all and you a girl, a girly girl, you would still have to be careful not to crush their lungs because where would you find another human being.] ..so long too that my English lecturer would cringe her face for it would be way longer than enough. You would kiss them also too much if she was there she may die of being grossed up [My English teacher, thank God she wouldn't be there.. this is officially a two human story! I wouldn't want her to die of being grossed up although I think I would pay to watch her face cringe ':¡ She'll live, because she's funny a_d]. </div>
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You would make love to them, with words and the other way too.. yes, even if you and the human race has had no idea what that is for all those generations, centuries. You would rediscover it like Adam and Eve at the garden of Eden or if we're going with the big bang theory instinctively like animals, like the first caveman ':?</div>
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I am saying you would love them like you've known them all your life, like they're all you had been waiting for, and or living for. You would love them even if they were not your type [before you discover that], for they are human, even if for a moment, day, whatever name instances of time will be called then.</div>
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Sometimes, many times, most times ..maybe it's all the time, I feel alien. And when I meet someone from my planet I do exactly that. I run to them and blabber, make love to them with my words over and over again as I try give all my escapades in this foreign planet to them, to someone who can finally get me. </div>
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Other times I am so dry, so exhausted from trading in this desert called earth I mistakenly identify some other species which is only similar to mine, perhaps a homo habilis, a monkey, or just a primate. When I am too dry and too thirsty I may wander even further to an alien, a mirage. It is difficult living here.</div>
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Hallooo.. anyone home. Is anyone out there, anywhere, please, si'l vous plait sgudjggyhcetykoyrs</div>
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If you're there please beam me up. Say anything, I will find you. Thanks.</div>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-36747667557805779912017-05-21T00:58:00.001-07:002017-06-06T06:27:53.665-07:00Lovers or just best friends :/<p dir="ltr">What's the difference between a lover and very good friends/best friends if they happen to be of different sexes ..well, apart from the sex? I remember once asking the same question and that's when I actually quite. Write me an answer.. the longest you can if you will, please.</p>
<p dir="ltr">It feels so stupid wanting to share something with someone but you can't because.. you don't even know what! I still hate that you shut me out, I only stayed there because I wouldn't fight you. It doesn't mean I ever stopped loving you, or ever will.. maybe I'll love someone else more but in my books you are still your level of awesome, you are my moon. Maybe I'll travel to another universe and find someone else, just so you know: I don't want to [No maybes.. unfortunately I'm not in control of that now.]. </p>
<p dir="ltr">We don't always get what we want, again I know that too well.. but I still fight, and hope I will always fight for what I want because if I don't what's the point. If I don't then I should accept everything thrown my way with a smile because.. if I don't want anything I don't think I should ever complain.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I want my friend back, I want to be able to share any thing and everything I find suit with them [..and in every way!]. I am aware too that I'm not in control of that but I haven't fought for that yet so here's my shot. It's stupid to know what someone wants and to want to share but you can't, it doesn't make sense to be friends and you're not.. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Well, it's probably my emotional intensity that has me having friends as lovers and lovers as gods that's making it like this but I still choose to embrace it. Again I want my friend back.. and I'll make an exception like I always do for people I cherish. This is just a notice so there's no room for assumption [My previous stand still stands ..but I'm never going to make a move, never going to ask to be anything more than a close friend/best friend will be my limit, if I ever get there! I'm not even ever going to propose regardless of how close we get unless you explicitly tell me, change things, and with words because actions say a lot but can so many times be misunderstood.. that just means the 'more than best friends' ball is in your court.]</p>
<p dir="ltr">So I'm gonna treat you like every other girl that gets close to me, that is if you get close to me.. I'm gonna tell you of the love escapades I go through, I'll tell you of the pretty girls who take shots of me when I'm all sharey, and the ones I take shots of, if I start taking shots.. I'd like to have you as a friend if I can't have you as anything else. I'd like you as my Kat, this should however be clear enough: you are still my Dcruise but because you pulled back and consciously put up all those barriers I will never bring up Dneau, you will have to if you want to. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Well, there's a little bit of a disclaimer here: treating you like every other girl that gets close to me with the exception of putting up barriers so I don't hurt them, so they don't fall in love with me  [because we're already past that :/] could work against you.. it may have been how I lost the original Kat :/ ..so shut me up if you don't want to hear, please:! And I will listen to yours too, all of them.. if we get tight enough for me to be your 'Made of Honor' I will be, and you will be pretty lucky because this here is a contract saying I won't ever drive anything romantic towards you plus I have always wanted nothing but the best for you, if you're happy I'm happy!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Friendships are not fixed in my view, they are just as magical as romantic love stories in my experience.. I don't think you see a really admirable person and say I will have that as my friend and they just turn out to be, and exactly as you imagined them. Sometimes you want someone to be your friend but they turn out to be the biggest jerk you know, other times those who look like thugs turn out to be the most reliable and ultimately your best friends.. it's kind of hard to see right through to the heart so we need magic :/ </p>
<p dir="ltr">Lucky for us we were friends, how I know what would excite you, why I'm fighting for this.. because I know what this is. So I'm done filtering unless you want me to, I'll not hesitate to share something funny, I will not think twice of handing over this disc I know you'd enjoy watching ..but I'll go with your flow! I will follow your pace.</p>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-67372209567117648962017-04-20T11:08:00.001-07:002018-10-10T09:00:23.530-07:00Lost words<p dir="ltr">Of late I've been saying what's up when what I really want to ask is 'What's your deal?'. It leads to the same old answers, shallow end dances as horribly as I'm craving the deep end. But I can't ask what's your deal, can I? It's yours.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I have been honest, truthfull, giving, never leading ..until I got there :/ <u>As</u> a matter of fact I consciously kept you a safe distance initially as I got to know you, before I was sure I could take more. Before I was ready to give more.</p>
<p dir="ltr">It was never out of any ill will or malice, I was only protecting you from yourself, from me. The more people know me the more they fall for me. Ego. Actually I believe the more we know people the more we fall for them, if we never actualise on anything it's only because of the barriers we place (..they're not my type, I'm looking for athletic, too short, too tall, he needs to be Irish, and should sing :/ ) consciously or unconsciously. </p>
<p dir="ltr">So I put barriers for her but I forgot to put them for me. Because I thought I knew. Apart from how amazing she was, I couldn't deal her. Because. She said she drunk alot, and that for me then meant I could never fully trust her, the drunk her at least. That could be, actually would be justification for misbehaviour, and I'm too nice, too forgiving so it definitely would be signing into 'siege'. </p>
<p dir="ltr">She would definitely not get past awesome story person, she had a thing for cats too and I was trying to stay away from cat lovers.. because cats are too canaiving (story for another day), very intelligent and witty which is totally my type but too selfish they loose the deal. </p>
<p dir="ltr">...I forgot to protect myself from you. Tables turned and I fell for you. So now I'm chasing you, how did that even happen because the last thing I remember you were coming my direction and I was taking back steps trying and working so hard to moderate this thing we have, had. When did you start running, away, and how am I chasing, why am I chasing. I was holding back because I wasn't ready and I was coming by pretty well, I would have been ready by now but then.. I shouldn't be chasing in all counts, I am less ready now than I was when I was taking steady back steps.</p>
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ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-83008834829702837782017-03-11T14:05:00.001-08:002017-04-19T12:48:57.804-07:00Chase 10MINE<p dir="ltr">As precious as you are and as much of a man as I believe myself to be I still, and never think I'd ever enjoy the chase. I'm pretty convinced I'm alien too, justifies the whole thing :/</p>
<p dir="ltr">Only those after the kill enjoy the it, top of my head :/ but I, want to pet, to domesticate.. I'd say tame but that so much implies change you and train you into something of my own making :/ </p>
<p dir="ltr">So I won't chase, I want you to want me as much as I want you, or close enough to it. The best I'd do is leave some trail of crumbs and things I like that lead to me and hope the right you will follow and bite, then I'd leave my door open long after the snacks are gone to ensure you're in not just for my type of Marylands. </p>
<p dir="ltr">If you want to leave you can always leave.. but only to a certain point. After I know for sure you like my type of snacks, and the giver to whatever extent, after you stay for long enough I'd want to adopt you and own you ..never to a point where you loose yourself of course but does any of us have control of that :/ After a while I'd want to have you, I'd fight to keep you and I'd hope you'd do the same. I would expect a certain level of commitment from both of us.</p>
<p dir="ltr">But I'm still claustrophobic, as badly as I may want to stay in, have you not leave.. my door will always be open from the inside. And it doesn't even have locks on the outside because I'd never want to be locked in. But don't worry about me, don't let that have you staying ati to protect me.. I'm intelligent enough, my hinges lock in and my doors full of grease from the outside. No one can ever come in from out if I don't let them but from inside only a lean will let you out ;)</p>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-12275044030726588252016-10-25T15:00:00.001-07:002016-11-22T13:37:21.511-08:00Inspired Change<p dir="ltr">I never consciously dare to change anyone, because what happens when they become aware of it. Even if it is clearly for their own benefit, they could refute it. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Not that I haven't wanted to. To change that one glitch in her personality and make her perfect for me, it's just one. To make her love me. To make her stop smoking, start drinking. To make her notice me. </p>
<p dir="ltr">If God himself gave us free will who are we to dare take it, away. And can we really? From anyone with a mind, could we do anything more than influence them? Could we tell them to do something and expect them to follow it through to the letter no questions asked and if they did could we trust they were humans, and not robots in skin.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Could we make anyone believe? Tell them to and expect them to, wouldn't we rather let them see. Isn't it more effective, after all it's the human saying that says seeing is believing. We all have basis for not believing mere words, because we have been deceived enough times..</p>
<p dir="ltr">Change can only really come from within, at least the long lasting type. Let me see what you're saying and let me see how it can change me from how it has changed you. Inspire me, build my believe. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Show me, rather than tell me.</p>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-28958641416988710082015-12-11T08:07:00.001-08:002017-02-08T02:36:56.810-08:00Lonely HavenHow can sad read so beautiful :? ..it must be my eyes :/<br /><br /><br />If I hugged you and lingered, now,<br />..it would be just lust :/<br />For I don't know you any more,<br />It's like you were never inside my door.<br />You're just an alien now, just an alien,<br />If you had a place it's now just empty space.<br /><br />You got replaced,<br />Why did you pace,<br />You left our place,<br />..who am I now that I'm not your mate:/<br /><br />I hated that you were late,<br />All our memories now just dates<br />Broken, covered in tatters,<br />I was shattered, no tint to stop my pieces from being scattered,<br /><br />The stars, the moon, I was separated from<br />But now I got you, no people<br />The sun for the day, rain on the way<br />Alone in our beautiful lonely haven.<br /><br />Thrust through the galaxies<br />Constellations all within my grasp,<br />The universe in my hands<br />beauty and not just a glance..<br /><br />ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-51917237419904257032015-07-13T13:45:00.002-07:002017-02-08T02:38:04.582-08:00..how much it costs!..sometimes as we protect ourselves from potential hurt, we end up hurting others, causing pain that is way more than we were trying to protect ourselves from. The brick walls we build rest their foundations on the toes of someone else's feet, the arrows you shot out through your castle's roof make their way through another's heart. As you blow out that fire from your grandiose mansion portraying the power in your breath, your huffs and puffs, you blow them right to my hut, burning it down from it's thatched roof, to it's mud and dung made round walls.<br /><br />I'd like to assume you had no intentions of doing that, weather true or not you leave me limping, homeless and with only pieces of my broken heart, that is if by luck it were made of glass.. otherwise I'm dead. We have to protect ourselves, I know I do so too or at least I try to.. but should we ever do it at the expense of others, I'd like to believe there are always other options.<br /><br />What's the worst that could happen if we were nothing but nice, well, I only try.. I've never died :/ The only thing better than seeing a genuine smile on someones face is seeing the transformation from whatever was there to it.. and it only gets better if you had anything to do with it.<br /><br />"Soft hearted people are not fools. They know what people did to them but they forgive again and again because they have beautiful hearts." Whether you are soft hearted or not it costs less to forgive than it does to love:/ ..think about it. ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-52621310290408159352015-06-16T12:46:00.000-07:002017-02-08T02:34:15.128-08:00Love as an addiction - Glimpse of the letters.What drives you, is it the fear of the unknown, need to be alone, of Kat; the horrors of the past, of Dcruis; or the fear of the future, of Dneau. Are you driven by them all?<br />
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This is the summary of a story of a 'wierdo' who still loves love, who still believes in something that the rest of us normal people only know as fantasy. He still loves despite the fact that this world is dominated with recipients who some where in the back of their minds believe they don't deserve to be loved as much as they may love (and want )the idea of it, this fantasy (first paragraph). Recipients who predominantly may be incapable or being loved leave alone reciprocating it, but aren't we all (Humans). I'll tell it in reference to the 'Letters to the Kats, Dcruises and Dneau'.<br />
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"I still love her.." he says referring to one that I'll term as his Moon. "..but love alone seems not enough. The last time we spoke I thought too that she loved me back but the world, life, in form of her self need to be alone, her past and her fear seem greater than that love for what we had." ..he continued.<br />
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"So now a perfect love seems lost to the wind, a fantasy that I lived and not just in my dreams. I sometimes wish I had the guts to slap her back to reality out of that fantasy that makes her think we couldn't have been, because.. we were. Well I'm a wierdo, I can read something beautiful over and over and still find it beautiful." "Are we still talking about her?" I ask just to confirm.. and I get an answer from his eyes, a look that seems to undermine my ability to connect:[] <br />
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"I may love her forever but there are things I have no control over, if she loves me back, if she'll have me back, how we'll fix that trust, who she is and who with time she chooses to be.. but those are not enough reasons not to love still. I have never and may never be in control of anything or one other than me, and I don't desire to be, because if I am then what will there be to see.. and I loove to see. So I pray to God, He'll reach where I can't reach, He sees everywhere including where no one else can see, and if He sees fit he will fix it however He please.. and I take comfort for you can't rebel against God for too long, it's like rebelling against love, you'll be killing your soul.. so I pray to God to get through to my love, if she too loves then I have two in one ..but I'd skip praying if I knew she would still fight that, because I'd rather not have her than live with seeing her without a soul. Even from this much distance, my myopia is un existant when it comes to seeing her."<br />
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Too deep, I think. I should have comprehended love after that but I didn't just understand his version of it :[] ..I got scared, it seems too deep, over exposing.. like you could die of it.. while at the same time the most beautiful thing you'd want to be in. Secured, cherished, full.. is what it seems you always are in it :!ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-61879875953409666472015-03-16T01:56:00.001-07:002015-03-16T01:56:47.652-07:00Dingly bells.<p dir="ltr">Night at the museum three I think, the one with Arthur. Dingly bells is the name he uses to refer to the star of the show, the night guard. He was named that after the hat the castles fool always has on, it has Dingly bells, he's the castle fool.. In this instance that's awesome, at least in Arthurs perspective, the mythic creature made out of wax, the knight. Dingly bells is just super funny even when he's not, Arthur can't help laugh. </p>
<p dir="ltr">They are just that, Dingly bells.. I don't know who I am, just that even when they are meant to annoy me they make me laugh. If I was the strong majestic knight I would have thrown them of like he did the skeleton extinct magical creature but, I still couldn't help laugh and let them have their way in restraining me. It was funny, really.. them Dingly bells.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I tried to tell them I was already decided to leave with him, he was waiting for me.. I even showed them but they still couldn't let me leave. I would have started to give them a speech of how only I could change my mind and decide to go with them but I wouldn't, but would they listen.. they wouldn't let me go and before I decided to show them I knew of my free will, that even with a gun to me I was aware it was still my choice and I had already picked, before I remembered they were still holding me I started laughing. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I can almost swear I still believed in my free will, that I still believed I could leave but they had me. Once I started laughing I realized I couldn't breathe, he must have seen it, must have been why he took a leave.. those freaking clowns, those Dingly bells, those annoying touts, why are they so funny.</p>
<p dir="ltr">You could end up going somewhere you never intended, find yourself in Mombasa while you were going to :/ Kijabe.. why do I laugh, it's not funny landing in Mombasa with a jacket, and blankets. ':| Hate that I love them :/ hate is too strong a word, they're funny. I still don't like how weak they make me!</p>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-92137198990352101122014-11-13T06:03:00.001-08:002014-11-13T06:03:09.373-08:00Circles<p dir="ltr">If she's inside your box you should be aware she could as well leave, get out and into another one. You could lock her in of course, but I'd rather an empty one than a bugging noisy box whose content is so volatile I have no idea how the lead could contained it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">What am I suggesting you ask ':? Circles!!! They are round, have diameters and half that, radii!? Are you on Google +¿? I'm talking about such kinds of circles! </p>
<p dir="ltr">If your circle and her circle meet you end up in one circle, a circle for each but in this case common zones for both. The closer the circles the bigger the common zones, if they get close enough they could end up as one circle completely inside another, think of that zone!</p>
<p dir="ltr">If your friends are her friends, your places her places, if you like what she likes, you only seem doomed to be together more often than not. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Circles make the strongest structures too. Sometimes people make kids trying to achieve this.. If my kids are your kids, blablabla! Circular structures are so strong geometrically they rarely crumble inwards but by a force from within they destruct so easy.. translated this means you can't lock her in because as strong as you seem together, your strength only protects you from the outside. Think of a well ':/</p>
<p dir="ltr">So I'm not saying if you go to someone you like and build a circle around them you can live happily ever after, rather that if you find a partner who's circle can easily blend into your circle, who loves your circle.. you've hit the jackpot. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I'm saying choose that person you like whose in a circle around you, or bring the person you like into your circles. The later however, doesn't guarantee she will stay there unless she actually for real loves your circles.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The disclaimer here is people aren't bots, part of why they are special. Sometimes people radically change, so much that they change circles. It's not the normal but it does happen, the good thing is if your eyes are open you will see this coming. </p>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-21912660329040204442014-11-08T11:58:00.001-08:002014-11-08T11:58:33.504-08:00Handful<p dir="ltr">..is what he said. <br>
If they are not full then I'll have to think about things, I don't want to relieve, <br>
I live in all times, if I'm not full time now I will live both now and then, in the past and future, I know me, believe. <br>
So sometimes I juggle, so I don't mumble, about my hand full because I know and I'd rather that than a mind full of perspectives, possibilities.<br>
..sometimes. </p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjasCecaYs4EJ90MGiYX60-UHsAhab4zvYaKNCSRDTrW6NyaGQ56TuqYZZ5oOQhqiHP8oJP_Azk0f2FnJKgt2aSB80gC994Tr1CqrjkXWQMIhZGP4FKGRX3BEksy9nimRL2qYKlS8b87Ng/s1600/20140925_182251.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjasCecaYs4EJ90MGiYX60-UHsAhab4zvYaKNCSRDTrW6NyaGQ56TuqYZZ5oOQhqiHP8oJP_Azk0f2FnJKgt2aSB80gC994Tr1CqrjkXWQMIhZGP4FKGRX3BEksy9nimRL2qYKlS8b87Ng/s640/20140925_182251.jpg"> </a> </div>ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-53261659229297954592014-11-08T11:57:00.001-08:002016-06-26T09:28:06.285-07:00sEE<p dir="ltr">I'm not saying I'm God, I'm just asking can you really lie to God, <br>
Can you lie to one who's omnipotent, one who sees all?<br>
How then can you dare lie to me, when I've seen you do it, you smell of it, are coloured with it, your belongings are textured by it but I'm not saying you've done it based on only how you look, I saw you do it.<br>
A hologram, maybe baybe but I saw..</p>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-27252552038042709052014-10-29T08:21:00.001-07:002014-10-29T08:21:16.171-07:00noW<p dir="ltr">One day when you know all my stories..<br>
Do you think I will be boring, should I start worrying':?</p>
<p dir="ltr">But that'd be lame, I'd mess the whole game ':!<br>
Even if that would happen, and I'd turn boring ..that would be then.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Why waste now because of then, a future that is variable, one that's malleable. <br>
Live to your fullest, love, laugh, jump, dance.. because you're able.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Enjoy life, love.. see the beauty of the earth.<br>
Taste, breath, feel ..smell God's art.</p>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-65470822436799498022014-08-15T15:13:00.001-07:002014-08-15T15:13:03.355-07:00Made of this.<p dir="ltr">Why am I sure I'm not just skipping from one impossibility to the next, to prove a point? Well, maybe I'm not..</p>
<p dir="ltr">Sure, but I am! ..it has been the one constant desire I've had since I was a child, and the one thing that I seem to be drifting further and further away from as I grow.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Of late I have however been fighting really hard for this seemingly impossible dream, that's why I'm questioning it. Am I just fighting to prove I'm not a fool, because Napoléon Bon aparté said that that's a word found only in their dictionaries.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Am I just running after the wind, what I know I can't catch? The girl I will never get to meet, is she my description of perfect.<br>
I would have convinced myself of that if I hadn't met her, if I hadn't met my like I would have.</p>
<p dir="ltr">But I did meet that girl that wasn't even in my dreams, and I met her at the most unusual of places, in the most unusual of ways... the impossible did happen.</p>
<p dir="ltr">It was so seemingly impossible, what happened, it was easier convincing my mind it only happened in it, so it's true, pretty obvious really that every great achievement once seemed impossible. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Does it work for all? If i invent a time machine would it exists, would it still be impossible,  would it be an achievement.<br>
That's how far away I've veered as I go further and further away from this mine desire. </p>
<p dir="ltr">They only discovered the great inventions by doing it, envisioning even the seemingly impossible at their time so I will have to keep on dreaming, to keep on being a sayer :( until I can build capacity to do. Every thing comes to being at its time, the wise King said.</p>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-18271013131549137142014-07-16T11:50:00.001-07:002014-07-16T11:50:48.715-07:00Tommyhillfigure instead of Gucci jeans ':.<p dir="ltr">My mind is filled with the wrongest things..<br>
I'm talking about tommyhillfugure instead of Gucci jeans?/;:'"!<br>
Like I'm in law school but I'm more of an Einstein, geek!<br>
..it could be that I'm just thinking about things too deep:/</p>
<p dir="ltr">Thinking about the future to far off,<br>
But is that really wrong, what's wrong with having a thought?!<br>
Making plans, taking turns, juggling everything round & round,<br>
..put that way then it may not be so right, right?</p>
<p dir="ltr">If my brain is working full-time for my future then when am I gonna live today?<br>
Thinking about my PhD when, I'm not even done with my degree, <br>
Feel like I'm eroding too fast, I'm turning into debris..<br>
I need to stop this, or sort it, arrange my thoughts before it gets too late, stop this debate..</p>
<p dir="ltr">Why am I thinking too much, why do I do this?<br>
Because this is me, because that's how I do it!<br>
..why am I talking to myself, why am I doing this?<br>
Because I understand me, because this is how I sometimes do it..<br>
</p>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-489178696077160422014-07-16T11:41:00.001-07:002014-07-16T11:41:32.207-07:00I know.. you know :p<p dir="ltr">I know you're beautiful, every guy would gladly have you, <br>
You left me lastfull, that's partly why I chose you,</p>
<p dir="ltr">I know they would fight for you, <br>
Both princes and even princesses, <br>
I know I'm lucky that you chose me,<br>
But never remind me, remember that I too chose you.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I chose you from a crowd of many,<br>
All fighting for you but you're not in plenty, <br>
Some lost, others found ..I gained what was my most priced tresure, <br>
You chose me, I am lucky, I thank God to have you, even if just to remember!</p>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-8015854945621919222014-07-16T11:31:00.001-07:002014-07-16T11:31:46.887-07:00A song that could describe what I feel ':?<p dir="ltr">I'm looking for a song that could describe what I feel,<br>
It's hard to even find words that could describe my ordeal,<br>
Horror movies, ragging seas, crying babies,<br>
Still can't find maybe a sound could describe better this scene,</p>
<p dir="ltr">Aaarg, ggggr, can't say bazinga of sounds kind of cool,<br>
Dann, khh, they're still words on a paper maybe a color, blue!<br>
..could describe better what I may be going through,<br>
It's not funny, yet I'm laughing I should go back to my room</p>
<p dir="ltr">Boom! ..thank God its not all in my head,<br>
How could just white on the floor cause all that tension,<br>
Milk poured down be such a big deal,<br>
It's real, it's real, I'm not going mad ..all this tension is real</p>
<p dir="ltr">I'd clearly finished this on the previous line,<br>
Kpaw! ..a Chinese plate from my dad's hand, decides it's its time,<br>
Coincidence, probably, or not, now what?<br>
Melancholy is the reason why I took this pad, I was drowning in my thoughts,<br>
Now what, now what?@#$%&*-+()<br>
</p>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-56003311327429118342014-07-16T11:22:00.003-07:002014-07-16T11:22:52.535-07:00Not so forever. <p dir="ltr">Should I presume that you don't love me any more,<br>
Maybe love is too strong, I mean you don't percieve me like you did?<br>
It sounds rhetoric but I need an answer because in my mind there's a law,<br>
You still are crowned queen, in my mind you still are the lady on the lead.</p>
<p dir="ltr">It's probably been months but to me we spoke yesterday, <br>
The pain however feels longer than pain caused by just a day..<br>
You've probably moved on, and me, I still relieve each day, <br>
Each breath while with you because I don't know how to convince my mind you are gone, that it's been days, [weeks, months.. I still can't move on]</p>
<p dir="ltr">Well maybe you're not? I'm willing to live in this pain,<br>
Because I can't dare imagine how much more it would be, forget about the gain,<br>
..imagine being sure she's gone, forever,<br>
Ooh, how I'd hate forever.. and I still have will to live :(!) </p>
<p dir="ltr">Why the heck did I say I'd love you forever, love is too strong :( I hate J'adore, now J'aime.</p>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-73306607347745236262014-07-16T11:22:00.001-07:002014-07-16T11:53:17.209-07:00UPart<p dir="ltr">I love you, and you love me back, loved me back maybe, or am I that blonde I just assumed that FACT, <br>
Your words if I assumed it's only that they came from your heart, <br>
Like mine did, or from somewhere deep within your being..<br>
Then why are we not happy together, or atleast still together,<br>
What happenned to us, who changed the weather,<br>
I know we hadn't said our vows yet but should it really affect us, I'm talking about the bad whether, whether it's dark or night, as long as we are together, forever..<br>
When I'm down you pull me up, or support me be a lever, when you're down, I'll carry you, with my hands, on my back,<br>
If we happen to be all down, we'll fight together, on the ground I will build a shelter, <br>
for us, I can, we can never be defeated, not just because you bring me lack, <br>
Because we were made like that, on our own we are strong, together united we're stronger.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Stonger than steel, stronger than the hippos skin which cannot be cut through even with the strongest steel</p>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-75250225488146653412014-07-16T11:17:00.001-07:002014-07-16T11:17:14.079-07:00Happily [N]ever after?!<p dir="ltr">When I stop giving the story, It doesn't mean it's stopped existing, does it ':? <br>
It's history ':? Try missing work for a day, tell me if everyone else will also be missing.<br>
..inaction on your part doesn't stop the world from spinning, revolving round the solar system, the solar system from going round this galaxy, the milky way from going round.. the force of gravity still pulls as strong,<br>
..so think about that as you enjoy that lunch, as you take those seeps of that sweet gravy away from work.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Happily ever after only exists because the story stops, but the story never stops,<br>
again don't you read your history':?<br>
Next time you decide to take a break go back in time, relieve the beauty, <br>
Then you may waltz back, that's the only way you won't miss a thing, you have to be care full you don't get lost in time, best of luck.<br>
There are happy moments and sad ones, if I stop at the sad will that be happily never after ':? I don't think so, unless I choose to make it so.<br>
Now, I'm saying we can live happily ever after, being happy forever is a choice in your hands. We have contol of the most important influence on our future, THE POWER TO CHOOSE HOW TO REACT TO THE WORLDS PUSHES AND PULLS. </p>
<p dir="ltr">The choice we take will influence whether we'll live happily, never or ever after.</p>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-18375392777101314672014-04-24T14:52:00.001-07:002014-09-04T22:51:47.240-07:00Test<p>"...you know your test, two words from the 1st and last page.. I discovered one for people. "</p>
<p>I was at a friends party Jana and as we left I saw the moon.. full and so beautiful. </p>
<p>So I share with this person next to me, "Check out the moon" I say, they look up and immediately after looked back at me wondering what they were meant to see. Then I get sad :( ..then I get close to my friend, the birthday girl and I get another view of it. </p>
<p>She's artistic, I just wanted to share with her its beauty.. she looked at it, looked back at me and [..in my heart I said damn] she went ahead to ask me what about it, I gave up and just said it's beautiful. And she said yeah.. I didn't expect it from her :( </p>
<p>..anyways, it was a long way home and I stared at it as long as I could, its beauty pulling me, gluing me to it:[] through the tall trees and the leaves [even more beautiful].</p>
<p>And when I got home I got out and stared at it some more, would have slept out if I could have ..the full moon was beautiful, it's hard to understand how some people couldn't notice. </p>
<p>People are different. </p>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-12797675118805627752014-04-04T14:59:00.001-07:002014-04-04T14:59:04.382-07:00Through my lens ..the way i see ^_^<p>If only you could see the way I do, see what I see.. see through my lenses. Beautiful things, figures, people.. no, maybe it's better you don't. I feel just as intensely, pain, sorrow and not just mine but from everyone around me.. could you really take that.</p>
<p>Being entwined in a rage that is not yours, feeling the hate that you have successfully trained yourself never to have.. but feeling it non the less, radiating from that sad soul seated to the now sad soul that is you.</p>
<p>I guess I am only alive because I can take out as much as I net in, but it's not easy.. it has never been easy. Writing what they call beautiful poetry, playing the guitar, talking continuously with so much depth may seem like a talent.. a gift from God but only God knows how so many times I have wished not to have this gift, because as precious as it is so is it as heavy. </p>
<p>If not for Him.. so I thank Him everyday, for His presence in every way. When He sends a random guy from the streets who saves me, when He uses a friend to wake me [from deadly sleep], when He uses family to physically and emotionally shelter me, when He sends His Angeles and when He's just Him. I thank Him..<br>
</p>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-39316827069137502762014-04-02T12:42:00.001-07:002014-04-02T12:42:30.198-07:00It depends on what you see ':¶<p>You know those instance where someone else has already seen the end but even if they were your close and trusted friend you won't stop just because of what they see. And it's not because you don't believe them, or what they're saying is not the most believable, or so obvious if you were them you would say the same!</p>
<p>Those instances where you, who is normally a very rational being know you're being irrational but still choose to take that risk, because among many other things you want to experience it [Or atleast that's how it seems!].</p>
<p>Where even if you don't believe, you still won't give in to the pressure to leave your radical choice... in many cases however, you believe, or atleast want to believe it will be different.</p>
<p>When you sacrifice all you have... you could loose it all in a blink. If however you don't you may make the biggest gain everyone could have never imagined. </p>
<p>It's a stupid move that makes absolutely no sense... bluffing with no ace up your sleeve, but if you pull it of you walk away with everything on the table.</p>
<p>The risk is unquantifiable, it's more of an uncertainty to everyone else but you can see the shine... the only reason you are all in regardless of who wins, because no one else can see the real price. </p>
<p>While they see the sun with all it's potential energy, you can see more than that... many stars, many galaxies, what seems like an entire universe only wrapped in what everyone else sees as garbage ':| What you see is not only energy, power, uncontained, undefined but you see beauty too, you see the night sky... now you must understand how easy it is to bet my sun and moon, now you know if I had the milky way I would bet it too.  </p>
<p>That is how you win regardless of how the game ends. Because even if someone else takes the price [you can offer to be their slave to tend to it, to amaze in its beauty everyday, every second of your slave days! But you probably don't have to...], they will leave your universe well wrapped as rubbish, to be collected by the servants. You only need to befriend them, or offer to clean up to save yourself from looking through the the bin. </p>
<p>If this is not your case then it will be a stupid bluff, a risk not worth taking ...my disclaimer opinion. Please take this warning and save yourself from loosing all your material wealth, in a poker game! </p>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-16397486311324714542014-03-30T11:49:00.001-07:002014-03-30T12:09:35.974-07:00How much?<p>I can count the number if times I have given up on someone, I mean for me they're so few.. I actually can hardly recall any! So far only this one girl but I didn't really give up on her, I just couldn't keep up. She was too fast, atleast for me at that time.</p>
<p>That's one of the tricky parts of relationships.. you meet someone, you like them, sometimes they like you back. Now that they like you back, because you like them as much what will you do to that.</p>
<p>You probably want to know them more.. so hang out with them more, talk to them more':/ we however have to remember that life existed before they met you, you existed before you met them after all [..right ':?]? So how do you do this, where will they get the extra hours to be with you?</p>
<p>A day has only 24hours, even if you had the cash and could afford to buy extra time there's no market for that yet maybe in time. But even if you could are you worth the time, are they willing to give you that time?</p>
<p>It's all about interests. How interesting you are to them, how interesting they are to you. All this among many other factors like your spare capacity will influence their ranking and maybe position in your life.</p>
<p>I remember this amazing girl I met in a mat, for instance.</p>
<p>I have this habit of having a book with me whenever I'm carrying a bag, and another habit of almost always always carrying a bag [you can see where this is headed, of course:!] ..I had a bag and books.</p>
<p>I had decided to Polish up on my French so every morning in the ma3 I would have my book out of the bag and go through an average of around five pages.. I was really getting good too. It's one of the major advantages of not driving </p>
<p>[Unless you have audio knowledge.. or an Audi, I think it would be pretty had to leave an Audi parked even for knowledge, ok, maybe for knowledge. After which you would drive it through the streets of Paris ..you can speak French now. It of course has GPS navigation so you don't need to the French to ask for direction but you can still speak it :p Ooh, and it's convertible.. it has to be so that you can see the stars and moon as you drive through the night ':|]</p>
<p>As I read my book, more like study this girl boards the mat and sits right next to me. She's on her phone and smiling alot, she's texting someone.. I was seriously studying my French book, for real [I was ':?!] I was.. it's just that my brain can hardly let anything get by me, that's why I probably need a controlled environment [seclusion to maximize on study!] ..I really need this especially right now, that's a story for another day though ':!</p>
<p>Then I see a cell phone right infront of me and now I'm officially distracted. Translate please must have been what she must have said to me.. thank God I knew that translation otherwise, uhm.. so I translated the text and that's how the conversation started.</p>
<p>She was an awesome girl, brilliant, very intellectual, confident, a little uhm, and really pretty too ..a girl like the ones I usually fall for, yes I do ':!</p>
<p>I have to admit I loved how she did it, how she hit through her shy self and said hi to me. When I think about it and now when I look back she's so much like me [omg, there are so many people like me.. and how I pride myself in being different, maybe I should stop ':?] ..how she cleaverly used the truth to start a conversation just like I believe I would to talk to someone who seems interesting. It's one of the hardest things to do for 'people like us' but risks are everywhere so if the reward seems worth why not. </p>
<p>One of her friends who was learning French was really exited about it so he sent her a minimum of one word everyday, and she sent back a word of Spanish [Please note I said MINIMUM, his sentences were full of French phrases while hers were just as Spanish!].. a really interesting way of learning, I think I should consider [Ooh, the words sent are never translated.. you have to search for the meaning yourself!].</p>
<p>Why I brought this up is because, it's one relationship that disappeared just because, uhm ..the right factors as per this piece were not in place, like no investment of time mainly.</p>
<p>We met again randomly somewhere on the streets but you can never really speak on the streets, except from greetings and maybe some small talk ':/ ..so whem I saw her again some weeks back after a really long time [probably a year ':! ] I felt really sad! She said hi from a distance and, it took me a while to load her but when I did I really felt bad :/ </p>
<p>She made her move and I really liked her, but because of my then position I didn't reciprocate. I lost a potentially great friend.. I really searched hard for her contacts that day [sort of rampaging through my Google contacts without even a name, I shot words that may relate to what I knew of her hoping I had described her in the contact notes ..and the search would find her but to no avail :( ], even I thought that was too desperate [..lame, yes, I don't understand why I so openly admit I did ..she was worth it ':?] </p>
<p>..I hope fate bring us another chance but in this case there's not much I can do but wait.</p>
ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012516036546959058.post-657020753130362332014-03-27T01:11:00.001-07:002014-03-28T07:22:32.869-07:00Life, Destiny, GodShe must be a prophet, a pretty good one at that! Or else how would she predict her future so well, tell it yesterday in her story ..unless she controls it ':! Yeah, that makes more sense, it's more believable! She writes her story and lives it like she's written it.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I wish I could do that. But there's not much I can control.. I can write a good story, in fact, I have the whole story. A very beautiful story at that! Living it is the bit I don't have too much control of. I can only try my best to live my great story, exactly how I've written it, that is.<br />
<br />
I also realized I'm not the only writer of this story. God already wrote it, even before I was conceived a story of my life was written. The world too has claims to this story of my life; through my family [dad wants something of me, mom too, & my brothers, & sister], friends [several girls want me as their boyfriend, the one I want isn't even among them ':!] <br />
<br />
..I should then understand, after all I have my claim on someone else's story, this girl who seems in full control of her story. This literally means if she doesn't put me in character, if my character in her story doesn't fit my character in my story I'm out of character :'(<br />
<br />
So what am I saying? ...there are so many pushes and pulls in this world. For you there's; what you want, what everyone else wants, what even you haven't realized you want yet, what destiny wants [let's assume this is the God variable.. what God wants for you.] <br />
<br />
Talking about destiny, given He's God then maybe it's a constant ':! ..wait, thank God for free will ..it's a variable [..is what I strongly believe!]! How He still is God is because He can see all the possible variables, where every alternative will land you [Our choices influence our destinies, we're not doomed to one fate.. it's all variable, we write our own fate]! <br />
<br />
It really amazes me what type of being He is, that with all His power He still gives us choice. Human beings usually give choices and options only [ok, let's be more generous and say mostly] because they know they have no choice [but to give them, because if they don't the choice may be taken anyway.. and they would loose any perceived power they may have had, any leverage ':!?].<br />
<br />
Let's work with those four variables for now, but just to show that there are many more I will mention some more: I could break down what everyone wants by defining what everyone means; friends and enemies, we could also break this down further to what friends may include; family, close friends, friendly colleagues.. well, this may never end. Let's push it still, just a little bit more: what I want may be; a battle between the left and right spheres of the brain; a battle of the soul between my heart and my mind, a battle of my conscious and my ego ..I have to end this, this battle in me to continue or end this ':|<br />
<br />
What I'm saying is we don't have much control over how our life transpires. I however insist we should still make plans, otherwise we should be content with anything.. we should still hope for the best, we should still expect. Only, with knowledge of how the world is we should be conscious that it's not guaranteed, that there's a possibility our expectations may never be met. Nevertheless let's still believe in our plans and work towards them.. The fact that we could fail should not be reason not to try, after all risks are everywhere!? ..the fact that you may not receive is not reason enough not to expect! [Is it ':? ..it shouldn't be is what I strongly believe!] <br />
<br />
..maybe we could involve God in them [Pray, perhaps ':? ]? He is supreme after all, He can make anything, can fix everything, He is the only one tho has the power to change everything, in singleness, simultaneity, all possibilities at the same time ..to work for our good! He can merge my goals to her goals, can make her story merge onto my story.. He's the only one who could do that.<br />
<br />
All I could do if I was to dare try is to make choices so that I could fit in her story, whatever role I'm given as per her script [who wants that, to take anything that comes ':/ ..do you really want to fit into destinies plans, have absolutely no choice, be bound to take whatever you're given?]<br />
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I know I have my free will, but I have to remember I only have mine. I have absolutely no power over anyone else, I could influence those who I command respect from.. but that's as much as I could do, well of course I could manipulate, blackmail e.t.c ..to get what I want from whomever but it wouldn't really be worth, plus it's not me':! I couldn't do that mainly because He gave us free will, and I trust Him, I trust his reasons [..so for the same reasons; I could only be bound to Him, I could only give into His will ..You could have me in chains, entangled, cut of my veins.. but you may never have me, unless I choose to let you have me.. Again this is the greatest gift we were ever given!]. Ever heard this "Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery; None but ourselves can free our minds."<br />
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In conclusion.. God is simply my best bet, that's what I believe.. what I choose to believe, that He is real. That through Him I can be all I want to be, through Him, YOU can be all you want to be [Psalms37:4]. It is Him that after all put those desires on you. <br />
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Talk to Him [It's not that hard to pray.. just talk like you would talk to your best friend, the one you confide in, your dog, or Teddy bear, maybe yourself, or your music, your computer, your books.. you know who or what you talk to, talk to him like that.]! ekimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11294745598387020339noreply@blogger.com0