Agony of unknown

"Job  23:13 But he is in one mind, and who can turn him?
and what his soul desireth, even that he doeth. 
23:14 For he performeth the thing that is appointed for me:
and many such things are with him. 
23:15 Therefore am I troubled at his presence:
when I consider, I am afraid of him.
23:16 For God maketh my heart soft, and the Almighty troubleth me:
23:17 Because I was not cut off before the darkness,
neither hath he covered the darkness from my face."

..I can't compare myself to him, can I? No its not good to compare anyways but sometimes I feel exactly what he must have when he expressed himself that way.
Without any control even over his own life, I've always known that maybe that's why I find it had to understand His need to insist on showing me ..well, maybe it's usually just a reminder. I thank God I know his story so it's clear it's not Him causing all this, but why is he allowing it.. again I thank God for the answer to that is also very clear to me:) yet although comforted that same question still lingers in my mind.
Wouldn't there be a better way, easier for me atleast to learn the lesson expected of me ..but again maybe this is it, I got the best deal & don't know about it only because I haven't seen everything on the table.
Thank you Lord for your mercies & grace, (I thought this would sound sarcastic?! ..just wanted to make it clear it isn't, just in case!)
I am really greatfull because despite all I believe my God is always good, don't get ideas.. We both know that's the only way you could get me (if you don't, I must have really over estimated you but I doubt that!) but I doubt that could ever happen, (I have to say though I'm always intrigued by your determination how you keep trying ..I admire that;!) my God will always be good ..I really doubt anything could ever lead me to believe otherwise!