!"':;/?

Tick rock, tick rock, that's the clock.. but today 7:30 seemed like 6:30, the sun was still out plus there was no break & the wall clock, you'll have to see that wall clock to know what I'm talking about.

The longest class ever, how I still remained attentive through it I have no idea.
Finally its over.. wait, it's now just began, the pounding of my heart in heavy thuds, so heavy my ears can hear them regardless of how far they are from it. If only I could I would go back to that never ending class & keep on learning, maybe come out with my PhD.
But I would miss her & all she has to say, I would miss her so much [even my passion for finance wouldn't keep me distracted for that long!] .. maybe I don't want to hear it. She loves me.. she loves me ___
Lord, help me.. :°|

Walk through the streets..

Thinking about you as I walk through the streets of Nairobi,
I'm smiling even more than when I'm enjoying my favorite hobby,
Singing love songs in my head ..I can't wait to go to bed & dream of you,

I have to stop this [don't really want to..],
I look like I'm mad.. talking to myself!
I'm actually talking to you but the conversation is in my head,

I'm telling you everything ..if you're reading this you may feel kind of sad for me,
Coz I'm talking to a girl in my head ..don't be coz she's real,
..is she, how can I doubt myself!"':;/?

..she is, I may have a brilliant mind but I'm not from "a brilliant mind"!
..these are brilliant lines, right?/;:'"!,

..so if your feeling sad feel sad for yourself, coz your not experiencing this,
This madness that feels so so sweet.. Love? Not lust! alot of adoration,
The simplest way to describe it is awesome ..& finally I get to experience it :&)

..that's why I don't care how I look walking down the streets with a smirk like this,
I'm happy with my smirk so just let me be :+)

NB: smirk in this case means, crazily weird smile caused by me being really happy, nothing close to this.. :)

When I close my eyes

[When i close my eyes it's her I see,
Her & me walking on my eyeballs,
I can see her so clearly with my eyes closed,
How is it possible seing myself in my eyeballs]

She's the girl of my dreams,
But this time she's real,
So is all that I feel,
But I have no idea what she'll make of it
What she thinks, if she feels me

Everytime I see ua face,
in my dreams & imagination,
All I wanna do is make u mine,
So I'm asking would u mind
..being mine, could you give me a little while,
So I can show you what I'm like
Please lets share this time
Today for a little while then we'll decide, if we can get by

I'm looking for somebody I can talk to,
Girl I'm looking for somebody I can share my life with
I'm looking for somebody I can live with,
Somebody I who will share all with me,
Not that I need it, just that that's how secure she'll be..
 

Now I know her name!

Found this some weeks back, I wrote it way back in high school.. it literally took me back in time!

"I stood there really tense, thinking of her,
I was decided this time so I stretched out my arm..
My heart beat fast, it beat really fast..
Then as she turned, it just froze up.. I didn't like that!
I don't know how but I asked her what her name was,
..she looked at me smiled & said something,
I couldn't hear her well but she'd definitely said something..
So I leaned closer to hear what she'd said..
She whispered to my ear, yes she said something,

..I almost melt down at the sound of her voice, her really pretty voice, her angels voice..
I smiled back, she blushed away.. no idea if I scored but now I know her name:)"    

Still won't write off..

So many desires, so much passion,
Limited by circumstances, still won't write off,
Am I naive, can't I see how impossible everything seems!?
Maybe I am coz I choose to see what I want to see.. I choose to believe
..to me it's real, all I can see can be real,
All of my day dreamz, the craziest ideas I can make them live..

Am I not the the likeness of the ultimate Creator,
Was I not made in his image, commanded to continue his amazing works!?

 

The one that got away:(

I met her, got to know her & fell in love with her,
Her style, her beauty, the way she thought ..her whole being,
I was convinced it was her, the girl I'd been looking for,
The mother of our kids, the woman of my dreamz

Yeah she was real, me & her were the real deal,
Everyone saw it, we experienced it, we felt it,
Me & her made an awesome team, real chemistry 

That's why its really had to believe she's the one that got away, 
The one i made prayers for a future with,
The one who would have made it hard to breath,
..without her in the picture i had of my future,
All the plans i had mad with her, would be shuttered without her!

But I still let her leave, i couldn't stand the pain now & didn't want to imagine the same later when everything would have been much greater,
Did she really hurt me or did I do that myself?
..in my head she hurt me & I pulled back, that's where I hurt myself,

Now I have no idea how she's doing & in my head she's still the perfect one for me..
Well maybe I'm overthinking, I doubt that but I still shouldn't be waiting?!?
..for a girl whose living her life like nothing is different,
a girl who may not be affected at all with my existence or non existence?!?
Regardless I still can't stop thinking about her,
Her well being at the minimum
..sometimes I think about all we could have been.
..but I need to put an end to this, an end to this love & desire in my heart,
..to be with this girl, to have her as part of my life?!    
 

Amazing chance..

Given that you're so much like me,
I can't help but think you understand me like this,
Seing the expressions on your face wish you could see me now,
I know I make such faces, more unconscious when I'm cought in such instances, like when someone is embarrassing themselves ';-! 
When you don't have the words to say, what would give a certain sound,
Priceless face to me, if my eyes were a camera I'd take so many shots,
All perfect to me, they are ..now they're precious thoughts.
Remember that day when we met your friend, then as he said hi he forgot to see me,
There came that face, no words from your mouth but you were apologizing for him,
I could tell by your face ..it expressed everything:)

So I'm really trying but my weaknesses are making it hard for me,
I thank God I know you, what I know tells me u're understanding,
Really hope I won't mess up, I'll find a way to get to you,
I really hope I won't fail, if I do I pray u'll understand me,
Please Lord help me know how to get to her, help me get to know her,
I like her too much I'm scared I may try so hard to impress her..
Why I'm scared is coz in doing that I may loose the little I have with her,
In doing that I may turn to someone else & loose the chance to get to know this girl that I really really treasure..