Sunday, 17 June 2018

Human vs Aliens 1

I'm trying pretty hard to figure out how to explain this, not because I lack the words, I rarely lack those.. it's because for some reason in my head I think you don't need to be explained to, or at least you shouldn't given who I think/believe you are :/

In my head you are a beautiful artist. I have never seen your work but I believe so hard, I've spoken to you and all your words confirm you are one. It's for that reason I assumed you would get it, you would understand his alien behavior. Well, there's love involved, and we all know where emotions are involved our vision is usually blurred. From that I assume even an artists ability to percieve is.

I will try and explain. Travel with me to the future... the year 3014, one thousand years from now. In this future world we will assume our earth no longer exists, for some reason. Perhaps it got invaded with a more superior species, at least in terms of weaponry and we got defeated.. they killed most of our species with a few lucky to escape so dispersed in all parts of the universe, cosmos [yes it's 3014, we can travel that far away, at great enough speeds.. maybe even the speed of light so we can go back and save our earth from this alien species, unless it just exploded. All this are maybes, no preempting.. let me give my story!].

So a fraction of the human race who survived the aliens are wide spread across the cosmos, with an even smaller one left on earth being experimented on by our alien conqurors [If they are not our scientists.. lemmi not go there, maybe later ':¡].

As refugees in alien countries, [ooh, worlds, planets] we slowly die of given that we left in such a hurry we forgot to carry our seeds. Ooh, I'd forgotten to mention that. In such futuristic times physical contact had been officially grossed out [haha.. gross:7], outlawed.. long ago enough the whole population had been culturalized without any knowledge of reproducing, no sex [I know it doesn't make sense!]'s the truth.

Well, even if some secret elite human society managed to pass such knowledge on from generation to generation by the fourth or so generation it would seem so absurd, it wouldn't even be myth.. but it would be had to imagine that happened given the amount of surveillance that would be in existance at that point in time, 3014.. people would probably be walking naked given there'd be no point of covering yourself as you have already been seen by surveillance taking a shower or changing [I would change in my towels and bath with my clothes to avoid that.. wait, it's 3014 no need to change clothes or have a regular shower! There'll be.. uhm, something!].

Imagine what would happen if you were one of the survivors, if you were the only one left alive in your group [maybe because you were a lab techie and from your works you had somehow developed immunity to all forms of human diseases.. don't get carried away, you're not super human just super immune for lack of a better word. You don't have any powers, only immunity from diseases.] and you haven't commited suicide! Now imagine in your regular routines you see another human being.

Hope is a person of the opposite gender from you. Like you Hope was the only survivor of his/her camp. He/she'd heard a beamed up signal that had been broadcasted on a continuous loop by one of the techies from your camp and by only that had traveled many enough light years to find and meet this other humans.

How do you think you would react, meeting from a very long time someone human like you. Someone with a mouth, with hands, with one HEAD!? Two nosestrils, with two brains if you disected their head but you wouldn't dare because where in the cosmos would you find another, is there even one other still surviving.. how long would you have to wait to finally find them, if they exist.

You would run to them as fast as you could, with your eyes glued at them not affording even a blink, for a millisecond is all it takes to move him across several galaxies. If you were lazy like someone I know you would walk but with just as much zeal towards them, not even a blink across whatever obstacles.. you wouldn't fall even if you tripped, you couldn't afford it.

And when you finally reached them you would hug them so tight, so tight [ tight even if they were a well build athletic man with huge muscles and all and you a girl, a girly girl, you would still have to be carefull not to crush their lungs because where would you find another human being.] long too that my English lecturer would cringe her face for it would be way longer than enough. You would kiss them also too much if she was there she may die of being grossed up [My English teacher, thank God she wouldn't be there.. this is officially a two human story! I wouldn't want her to die of being grossed up although I think I would pay to watch her face cringe ':¡ She'll live, because she's funny a_d..].

You would make love to them, with words and the other way too.. yes, even if you and the human race has had no idea what that is for all those generations, centuries. You would rediscover it like Adam and Eve at the garden of Eden or if we're going with the big bang theory instinctively like animals, like the first cave man ':?

I am saying you would love them like you've known them all your life, like they're all you had been waiting for, and or living for. You would love them even if they were not your type [before you discover that], for they are human, even if for a moment, day, whatever name instances of time will be called then.

Sometimes, many time, most times ..maybe it's all the time, I feel alien. And when I meet someone from my planet I do exactly that. I run to them and blabber, make love to them with my words over and over again as I try give all my escapades in this foreign planet to them, to someone who can finally get me.

Other times I am so dry, so exhausted from trading in this desert called earth I mistakenly identify some other species which is only similar to mine, perhaps a homo habilis, a monkey, or just a primate. When I am too dry and too thirsty I may wander even further to an alien, a mirage. It is difficult living here.

Hallooo.. any one home. Is any one out there, anywhere, please, si'l vous plait sgudjggyhcetykoyrs
If you're there please beam me up. Say anything, I will find you. Thanks.

Sunday, 21 May 2017

Lovers or just best friends :/

What's the difference between a lover and very good friends/best friends if they happen to be of different sexes ..well, apart from the sex? I remember once asking the same question and that's when I actually quite. Write me an answer.. the longest you can if you will, please.

It feels so stupid wanting to share something with someone but you can't because.. you don't even know what! I still hate that you shut me out, I only stayed there because I wouldn't fight you. It doesn't mean I ever stopped loving you, or ever will.. maybe I'll love someone else more but in my books you are still your level of awesome, you are my moon. Maybe I'll travel to another universe and find someone else, just so you know: I don't want to [No maybes.. unfortunately I'm not in control of that now.].

We don't always get what we want, again I know that too well.. but I still fight, and hope I will always fight for what I want because if I don't what's the point. If I don't then I should accept everything thrown my way with a smile because.. if I don't want anything I don't think I should ever complain.

I want my friend back, I want to be able to share any thing and everything I find suit with them [..and in every way!]. I am aware too that I'm not in control of that but I haven't fought for that yet so here's my shot. It's stupid to know what someone wants and to want to share but you can't, it doesn't make sense to be friends and you're not..

Well, it's probably my emotional intensity that has me having friends as lovers and lovers as gods that's making it like this but I still choose to embrace it. Again I want my friend back.. and I'll make an exception like I always do for people I cherish. This is just a notice so there's no room for assumption [My previous stand still stands ..but I'm never going to make a move, never going to ask to be anything more than a close friend/best friend will be my limit, if I ever get there! I'm not even ever going to propose regardless of how close we get unless you explicitly tell me, change things, and with words because actions say a lot but can so many times be misunderstood.. that just means the 'more than best friends' ball is in your court.]

So I'm gonna treat you like every other girl that gets close to me, that is if you get close to me.. I'm gonna tell you of the love escapades I go through, I'll tell you of the pretty girls who take shots of me when I'm all sharey, and the ones I take shots of, if I start taking shots.. I'd like to have you as a friend if I can't have you as anything else. I'd like you as my Kat, this should however be clear enough: you are still my Dcruise but because you pulled back and consciously put up all those barriers I will never bring up Dneau, you will have to if you want to.

Well, there's a little bit of a disclaimer here: treating you like every other girl that gets close to me with the exception of putting up barriers so I don't hurt them, so they don't fall in love with me  [because we're already past that :/] could work against you.. it may have been how I lost the original Kat :/ shut me up if you don't want to hear, please:! And I will listen to yours too, all of them.. if we get tight enough for me to be your 'Made of Honor' I will be, and you will be pretty lucky because this here is a contract saying I won't ever drive anything romantic towards you plus I have always wanted nothing but the best for you, if you're happy I'm happy!

Friendships are not fixed in my view, they are just as magical as romantic love stories in my experience.. I don't think you see a really admirable person and say I will have that as my friend and they just turn out to be, and exactly as you imagined them. Sometimes you want someone to be your friend but they turn out to be the biggest jerk you know, other times those who look like thugs turn out to be the most reliable and ultimately your best friends.. it's kind of hard to see right through to the heart so we need magic :/

Lucky for us we were friends, how I know what would excite you, why I'm fighting for this.. because I know what this is. So I'm done filtering unless you want me to, I'll not hesitate to share something funny, I will not think twice of handing over this disc I know you'd enjoy watching ..but I'll go with your flow! I will follow your pace.

Thursday, 20 April 2017

Lost words

Of late I've been saying what's up when what I really want to ask is 'What's your deal?'. It leads to the same old answers, shallow end dances as horribly as I'm craving the deep end. But I can't ask what's your deal, can I? It's yours.

I have been honest, truthfull, giving, never leading ..until I got there :/ As a matter of fact I consciously kept you a safe distance initially as I got to know you, before I was sure I could take more. Before I was ready to give more.

It was never out of any ill will or malice, I was only protecting you from yourself, from me. The more people know me the more they fall for me. Ego. Actually I believe the more we know people the more we fall for them, if we never actualise on anything it's only because of the barriers we place (..they're not my type, I'm looking for athletic, too short, too tall, he needs to be Irish, and should sing :/ ) consciously or unconsciously. 

So I put barriers for her but I forgot to put them for me. Because I thought I knew. Apart from how amazing she was, I couldn't deal her. Because. She said she drunk alot, and that for me then meant I could never fully trust her, the drunk her at least. That could be, actually would be justification for misbehaviour, and I'm too nice, too forgiving so it definitely would be signing into 'siege'. 

She would definitely not get past awesome story person, she had a thing for cats too and I was trying to stay away from cat lovers.. because cats are too canaiving (story for another day), very intelligent and witty which is totally my type but too selfish they loose the deal. 

...I forgot to protect myself from you. Tables turned and I fell for you. So now I'm chasing you, how did that even happen because the last thing I remember you were coming my direction and I was taking back steps trying and working so hard to moderate this thing we have, had. When did you start running, away, and how am I chasing, why am I chasing. I was holding back because I wasn't ready and I was coming by pretty well, I would have been ready by now but then.. I shouldn't be chasing in all counts, I am less ready now than I was when I was taking steady back steps.


Saturday, 11 March 2017

Chase 10MINE

As precious as you are and as much of a man as I believe myself to be I still, and never think I'd ever enjoy the chase. I'm pretty convinced I'm alien too, justifies the whole thing :/

Only those after the kill enjoy the it, top of my head :/ but I, want to pet, to domesticate.. I'd say tame but that so much implies change you and train you into something of my own making :/

So I won't chase, I want you to want me as much as I want you, or close enough to it. The best I'd do is leave some trail of crumbs and things I like that lead to me and hope the right you will follow and bite, then I'd leave my door open long after the snacks are gone to ensure you're in not just for my type of Marylands.

If you want to leave you can always leave.. but only to a certain point. After I know for sure you like my type of snacks, and the giver to whatever extent, after you stay for long enough I'd want to adopt you and own you ..never to a point where you loose yourself of course but does any of us have control of that :/ After a while I'd want to have you, I'd fight to keep you and I'd hope you'd do the same. I would expect a certain level of commitment from both of us.

But I'm still claustrophobic, as badly as I may want to stay in, have you not leave.. my door will always be open from the inside. And it doesn't even have locks on the outside because I'd never want to be locked in. But don't worry about me, don't let that have you staying ati to protect me.. I'm intelligent enough, my hinges lock in and my doors full of grease from the outside. No one can ever come in from out if I don't let them but from inside only a lean will let you out ;)

Tuesday, 25 October 2016

Inspired Change

I never consciously dare to change anyone, because what happens when they become aware of it. Even if it is clearly for their own benefit, they could refute it.

Not that I haven't wanted to. To change that one glitch in her personality and make her perfect for me, it's just one. To make her love me. To make her stop smoking, start drinking. To make her notice me.

If God himself gave us free will who are we to dare take it, away. And can we really? From anyone with a mind, could we do anything more than influence them? Could we tell them to do something and expect them to follow it through to the letter no questions asked and if they did could we trust they were humans, and not robots in skin.

Could we make anyone believe? Tell them to and expect them to, wouldn't we rather let them see. Isn't it more effective, after all it's the human saying that says seeing is believing. We all have basis for not believing mere words, because we have been deceived enough times..

Change can only really come from within, at least the long lasting type. Let me see what you're saying and let me see how it can change me from how it has changed you. Inspire me, build my believe.

Show me, rather than tell me.

Friday, 11 December 2015

Lonely Haven

How can sad read so beautiful :? must be my eyes :/

If I hugged you and lingered, now, would be just lust :/
For I don't know you any more,
It's like you were never inside my door.
You're just an alien now, just an alien,
If you had a place it's now just empty space.

You got replaced,
Why did you pace,
You left our place,
..who am I now that I'm not your mate:/

I hated that you were late,
All our memories now just dates
Broken, covered in tatters,
I was shattered, no tint to stop my pieces from being scattered,

The stars, the moon, I was separated from
But now I got you, no people
The sun for the day, rain on the way
Alone in our beautiful lonely haven.

Thrust through the galaxies
Constellations all within my grasp,
The universe in my hands
beauty and not just a glance..

Monday, 13 July 2015 much it costs!

..sometimes as we protect ourselves from potential hurt, we end up hurting others, causing pain that is way more than we were trying to protect ourselves from. The brick walls we build rest their foundations on the toes of someone else's feet, the arrows you shot out through your castle's roof make their way through another's heart. As you blow out that fire from your grandiose mansion portraying the power in your breath, your huffs and puffs, you blow them right to my hut, burning it down from it's thatched roof, to it's mud and dung made round walls.

I'd like to assume you had no intentions of doing that, weather true or not you leave me limping, homeless and with only pieces of my broken heart, that is if by luck it were made of glass.. otherwise I'm dead. We have to protect ourselves, I know I do so too or at least I try to.. but should we ever do it at the expense of others, I'd like to believe there are always other options.

What's the worst that could happen if we were nothing but nice, well, I only try.. I've never died :/ The only thing better than seeing a genuine smile on someones face is seeing the transformation from whatever was there to it.. and it only gets better if you had anything to do with it.

"Soft hearted people are not fools. They know what people did to them but they forgive again and again because they have beautiful hearts." Whether you are soft hearted or not it costs less to forgive than it does to love:/ ..think about it.