Lovers or just best friends :/

What's the difference between a lover and very good friends/best friends if they happen to be of different sexes ..well, apart from the sex? I remember once asking the same question and that's when I actually quite. Write me an answer.. the longest you can if you will, please.

It feels so stupid wanting to share something with someone but you can't because.. you don't even know what! I still hate that you shut me out, I only stayed there because I wouldn't fight you. It doesn't mean I ever stopped loving you, or ever will.. maybe I'll love someone else more but in my books you are still your level of awesome, you are my moon. Maybe I'll travel to another universe and find someone else, just so you know: I don't want to [No maybes.. unfortunately I'm not in control of that now.].

We don't always get what we want, again I know that too well.. but I still fight, and hope I will always fight for what I want because if I don't what's the point. If I don't then I should accept everything thrown my way with a smile because.. if I don't want anything I don't think I should ever complain.

I want my friend back, I want to be able to share any thing and everything I find suit with them [..and in every way!]. I am aware too that I'm not in control of that but I haven't fought for that yet so here's my shot. It's stupid to know what someone wants and to want to share but you can't, it doesn't make sense to be friends and you're not..

Well, it's probably my emotional intensity that has me having friends as lovers and lovers as gods that's making it like this but I still choose to embrace it. Again I want my friend back.. and I'll make an exception like I always do for people I cherish. This is just a notice so there's no room for assumption [My previous stand still stands ..but I'm never going to make a move, never going to ask to be anything more than a close friend/best friend will be my limit, if I ever get there! I'm not even ever going to propose regardless of how close we get unless you explicitly tell me, change things, and with words because actions say a lot but can so many times be misunderstood.. that just means the 'more than best friends' ball is in your court.]

So I'm gonna treat you like every other girl that gets close to me, that is if you get close to me.. I'm gonna tell you of the love escapades I go through, I'll tell you of the pretty girls who take shots of me when I'm all sharey, and the ones I take shots of, if I start taking shots.. I'd like to have you as a friend if I can't have you as anything else. I'd like you as my Kat, this should however be clear enough: you are still my Dcruise but because you pulled back and consciously put up all those barriers I will never bring up Dneau, you will have to if you want to.

Well, there's a little bit of a disclaimer here: treating you like every other girl that gets close to me with the exception of putting up barriers so I don't hurt them, so they don't fall in love with me  [because we're already past that :/] could work against you.. it may have been how I lost the original Kat :/ ..so shut me up if you don't want to hear, please:! And I will listen to yours too, all of them.. if we get tight enough for me to be your 'Made of Honor' I will be, and you will be pretty lucky because this here is a contract saying I won't ever drive anything romantic towards you plus I have always wanted nothing but the best for you, if you're happy I'm happy!

Friendships are not fixed in my view, they are just as magical as romantic love stories in my experience.. I don't think you see a really admirable person and say I will have that as my friend and they just turn out to be, and exactly as you imagined them. Sometimes you want someone to be your friend but they turn out to be the biggest jerk you know, other times those who look like thugs turn out to be the most reliable and ultimately your best friends.. it's kind of hard to see right through to the heart so we need magic :/

Lucky for us we were friends, how I know what would excite you, why I'm fighting for this.. because I know what this is. So I'm done filtering unless you want me to, I'll not hesitate to share something funny, I will not think twice of handing over this disc I know you'd enjoy watching ..but I'll go with your flow! I will follow your pace.

Lost words

Of late I've been saying what's up when what I really want to ask is 'What's your deal?'. It leads to the same old answers, shallow end dances as horribly as I'm craving the deep end. But I can't ask what's your deal, can I? It's yours.

I have been honest, truthfull, giving, never leading ..until I got there :/ As a matter of fact I consciously kept you a safe distance initially as I got to know you, before I was sure I could take more. Before I was ready to give more.

It was never out of any ill will or malice, I was only protecting you from yourself, from me. The more people know me the more they fall for me. Ego. Actually I believe the more we know people the more we fall for them, if we never actualise on anything it's only because of the barriers we place (..they're not my type, I'm looking for athletic, too short, too tall, he needs to be Irish, and should sing :/ ) consciously or unconsciously. 

So I put barriers for her but I forgot to put them for me. Because I thought I knew. Apart from how amazing she was, I couldn't deal her. Because. She said she drunk alot, and that for me then meant I could never fully trust her, the drunk her at least. That could be, actually would be justification for misbehaviour, and I'm too nice, too forgiving so it definitely would be signing into 'siege'. 

She would definitely not get past awesome story person, she had a thing for cats too and I was trying to stay away from cat lovers.. because cats are too canaiving (story for another day), very intelligent and witty which is totally my type but too selfish they loose the deal. 

...I forgot to protect myself from you. Tables turned and I fell for you. So now I'm chasing you, how did that even happen because the last thing I remember you were coming my direction and I was taking back steps trying and working so hard to moderate this thing we have, had. When did you start running, away, and how am I chasing, why am I chasing. I was holding back because I wasn't ready and I was coming by pretty well, I would have been ready by now but then.. I shouldn't be chasing in all counts, I am less ready now than I was when I was taking steady back steps.

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Chase 10MINE

As precious as you are and as much of a man as I believe myself to be I still, and never think I'd ever enjoy the chase. I'm pretty convinced I'm alien too, justifies the whole thing :/

Only those after the kill enjoy the it, top of my head :/ but I, want to pet, to domesticate.. I'd say tame but that so much implies change you and train you into something of my own making :/

So I won't chase, I want you to want me as much as I want you, or close enough to it. The best I'd do is leave some trail of crumbs and things I like that lead to me and hope the right you will follow and bite, then I'd leave my door open long after the snacks are gone to ensure you're in not just for my type of Marylands.

If you want to leave you can always leave.. but only to a certain point. After I know for sure you like my type of snacks, and the giver to whatever extent, after you stay for long enough I'd want to adopt you and own you ..never to a point where you loose yourself of course but does any of us have control of that :/ After a while I'd want to have you, I'd fight to keep you and I'd hope you'd do the same. I would expect a certain level of commitment from both of us.

But I'm still claustrophobic, as badly as I may want to stay in, have you not leave.. my door will always be open from the inside. And it doesn't even have locks on the outside because I'd never want to be locked in. But don't worry about me, don't let that have you staying ati to protect me.. I'm intelligent enough, my hinges lock in and my doors full of grease from the outside. No one can ever come in from out if I don't let them but from inside only a lean will let you out ;)