Test

"...you know your test, two words from the 1st and last page.. I discovered one for people. "

I was at a friends party Jana and as we left I saw the moon.. full and so beautiful.

So I share with this person next to me, "Check out the moon" I say, they look up and immediately after looked back at me wondering what they were meant to see. Then I get sad :( ..then I get close to my friend, the birthday girl and I get another view of it.

She's artistic, I just wanted to share with her its beauty.. she looked at it, looked back at me and [..in my heart I said damn] she went ahead to ask me what about it, I gave up and just said it's beautiful. And she said yeah.. I didn't expect it from her :(

..anyways, it was a long way home and I stared at it as long as I could, its beauty pulling me, gluing me to it:[] through the tall trees and the leaves [even more beautiful].

And when I got home I got out and stared at it some more, would have slept out if I could have ..the full moon was beautiful, it's hard to understand how some people couldn't notice.

People are different.

Through my lens ..the way i see ^_^

If only you could see the way I do, see what I see.. see through my lenses. Beautiful things, figures, people.. no, maybe it's better you don't. I feel just as intensely, pain, sorrow and not just mine but from everyone around me.. could you really take that.

Being entwined in a rage that is not yours, feeling the hate that you have successfully trained yourself never to have.. but feeling it non the less, radiating from that sad soul seated to the now sad soul that is you.

I guess I am only alive because I can take out as much as I net in, but it's not easy.. it has never been easy. Writing what they call beautiful poetry, playing the guitar, talking continuously with so much depth may seem like a talent.. a gift from God but only God knows how so many times I have wished not to have this gift, because as precious as it is so is it as heavy.

If not for Him.. so I thank Him everyday, for His presence in every way. When He sends a random guy from the streets who saves me, when He uses a friend to wake me [from deadly sleep], when He uses family to physically and emotionally shelter me, when He sends His Angeles and when He's just Him. I thank Him..

It depends on what you see ':¶

You know those instance where someone else has already seen the end but even if they were your close and trusted friend you won't stop just because of what they see. And it's not because you don't believe them, or what they're saying is not the most believable, or so obvious if you were them you would say the same!

Those instances where you, who is normally a very rational being know you're being irrational but still choose to take that risk, because among many other things you want to experience it [Or atleast that's how it seems!].

Where even if you don't believe, you still won't give in to the pressure to leave your radical choice... in many cases however, you believe, or atleast want to believe it will be different.

When you sacrifice all you have... you could loose it all in a blink. If however you don't you may make the biggest gain everyone could have never imagined.

It's a stupid move that makes absolutely no sense... bluffing with no ace up your sleeve, but if you pull it of you walk away with everything on the table.

The risk is unquantifiable, it's more of an uncertainty to everyone else but you can see the shine... the only reason you are all in regardless of who wins, because no one else can see the real price.

While they see the sun with all it's potential energy, you can see more than that... many stars, many galaxies, what seems like an entire universe only wrapped in what everyone else sees as garbage ':| What you see is not only energy, power, uncontained, undefined but you see beauty too, you see the night sky... now you must understand how easy it is to bet my sun and moon, now you know if I had the milky way I would bet it too. 

That is how you win regardless of how the game ends. Because even if someone else takes the price [you can offer to be their slave to tend to it, to amaze in its beauty everyday, every second of your slave days! But you probably don't have to...], they will leave your universe well wrapped as rubbish, to be collected by the servants. You only need to befriend them, or offer to clean up to save yourself from looking through the the bin.

If this is not your case then it will be a stupid bluff, a risk not worth taking ...my disclaimer opinion. Please take this warning and save yourself from loosing all your material wealth, in a poker game!