Friday 7 March 2014

Kogi

Today I met someone very important in my life, in my head it doesn't make sense how it wasn't a girl.. I haven't turned gay either, one of the few things I'm sure about, I believe I have already met her [my girl] but that's not the reason for leo's writing.

I met a great man leo ..he asked me personal questions and I am still comming to terms with why I answered him, in fact I answered him always giving more and for the first time my mind didn't even flinch to think I was giving him too much. I am not talking about God either.

I am talking about someone that I know nothing about but would love to have as a mentor. He didn't wait for me to start my blabbers, why I feel like he already knew me, maybe I have a slight idea but even that is just an assumption. This man didn't start the conversation with the normal small talk, rather he jumped straight to the deep end.. and I let him, same reason. Without knowing my name or me knowing his we journeyed through my life him asking questions and me answering with as much detail as I could, yes, I was conscious he was asking for too much but I still just as consciously answered the man.

Wrong guess again, I wasn't in a shrinks office.. I actually had to ask him that question just to make sure and I did, he hasn't studied any psychology [maybe he has done psychiatry.. I forgot to ask :( ] for a moment, honestly it's more of most of the time, I felt like I was in a shrinks office but the two secretaries seated not so far of and the fact that we were both standing reminded me that I couldn't have been.

I've always thought of a shrinks place as this office with a reception and a main office inside this beautiful door that leads to a living room like 'salle' only it's not a real one, only made to look like that to make you comfortable enough to let everything out to mom or grandma.. for some reason I have never considered a man a shrink, absurd, especially considering how much I campaign against stereotypes [story for another day..] and the fact that I myself have considered that job, still am [I will do psychology at one point in my life.. have been a student of it almost most of my life, taking almost everyone as a test subject.. let's not go there, atleast not right now.], if not by going to class I will study more books and papers on the subject.

Diagnosis: Hyperactive mind.
May use both the right & left side of the brain.
Prognosis: Genius if properly used, would self destruct if not well controlled. [Prognosis is this case is what I got from what he said]
Advice: Exercise regularly to divert energy from the brain, focus on one thing at a time.
Report after 3 months.
..was what he said to me, the conclusion of our talk, I feel like I should just admit it was a shrink session, you know 'substance over form' [accounting principal].

He had a basis for his diagnosis and it made almost perfect sense so I believed him, and keenly took his advice to the letter. Why I didn't write it down is because I was too attentive listening plus I knew this was one of those things you could never forget, I know I wouldn't.

I have to admit at one point as I answered his questions I figured he was analyzing me and at a point I felt like my description of me made me seem like the past time legends, geniuses who came up with the theories that today make up the foundations of science as we know it.. for an instance I wanted to change it, I thought he would think I was trying to make myself seem like them and because of how much I value originality I was tempted to.. but that was me, so I just described me, despite how much me in some perspective I seemed like, Leonardo and in others some of the other greats.

I always thought I was a scientists, everyone else, atleast those who knew me [my mom, friends, teachers.. I was always a sort of geek, some friends called me dexter! ..I loved math!"':;/?] saw that. Then all over sudden in high-school I get into arts: I start by writing, then learn guitar, then I'm singing, then I can draw.. and now I can't stop appreciating art, seing how beautiful everything is, now I am reading not just for knowledge but fiction too, to appreciate the beauty of the writers mind?/;:'"!

Apart from photography which I got to love from early in life, I had no relation or connection to the arts whatsoever, not until my second year of high-school.. not even music which everyone listened to, apart from this one song that spoke to me I only listened to music as a basis for discussion with the rest of my schoolmates which seemed to mainly revolve around this! ..wait, no, lets cancel the last line, or make it make more sense, be truer ':? I mainly listened to music whose lyrics I could listen to, that's why I loved rnb..

As we finished our conversation, as he gave me his opinion, he mentioned that I am probably one of the few people who use both sides of my brain, this took me back to this awesome book I once read called 'Drawing on the right side of the brain' [awesome book that I think you should read.. I need to have a personal copy of this!] ..he said I simply [maybe he didn't say simply, I am just trying to simplify it, maybe!] have a very active mind. 
He said I could do all I wanted to do, could be everything I was, but to succeed I had to focus, one day, not today or tomorrow, I will have achieved all.

I believed him. I believed and not just because everything he said I already knew, or because of the time he spent with me.. I believed him and trusted him almost like with my everything, regardless of the fact that I had just met him, LEO, I had not known even just his name!"':;/?

I still am not sure why but I really thank God for today, for that stranger that, when I think about it seems like future me, but so content, so like me, maybe only apart from how he looks, again maybe it's just the way I percieve myself, then again maybe he only looked different so I wouldn't be shocked out of myself.
Despite all the maybes, he definitely achieved his goal. He was, is, has become a turning point in my life.

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